Florida Man Goes to Washington (NSFW)

November 1st 2019 — Impeachment Diaries Ep. 2

Dear ̶D̶i̶a̶r̶y̶Internet,

So it’s day 2 of the formalized impeachment process. But it’s Friday and not much happens on a Friday in the District of Columbia. It’s when corporations and the government throws out news they don’t want people to pay attention to. Although a Congressman did headbutt a camera rather than answer a simple question about Trump from a reporter.

But besides that, the only major news in my opinion is that the President is changing his residency to Florida. The press presumes for Tax purposes. I’d guess it’s more likely that his addled mind thinks a change of residency can prevent him from facing New York State criminal charges should he be removed from office and subject to the same laws that every American citizen is.

So because Donald John Trump has decided he is a Florida Man, I’ve decided to rewrite some Trump headlines as Florida Man headlines. But before I do, I want to note that Florida Man headlines are caused by Florida’s lack of privacy laws which make it easy for local media to exploit the stories of the disenfranchised into easy click-bait. That said, I do not feel guilty making fun of our President at all.

Florida Man appoints his Daughter‘s Husband to solve all of the World Problems

Florida Man tries and fails to stop all Muslims from entering the United States of America.

Accusing Barack Obama of Wire Tapping him, Demented Florida Man called for Congressional Investigation into the Former President.

Florida Man with no Foreign Policy Experience inadvertently takes phone call from Taiwanese President.

Florida Man senselessly yells Witch Hunt loudly to Entire Nation.

I’ll be continuing to add more headlines throughout the evening with my wine.

Besides that, all I did today was play Stardew Valley, clean, and work on my book.
See ya tomorrow.

Sincerely,
Jefferson Thomas Freeman
Unofficial Clerk of the Impeachment.

P.S. Dear ̶D̶i̶a̶r̶y̶Internet (NSFW) is Presented by SaturaVeritas.

Filing purposes, please ignore:
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Impeachment Diaries 002

Credit: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/article228992559.html

American Flaneur for now.

American Flaneur for now.