Florida Man Goes to Washington (NSFW)

November 1st 2019 — Impeachment Diaries Ep. 2

2 min readNov 1, 2019

Dear ̶D̶i̶a̶r̶y̶Internet,

So it’s day 2 of the formalized impeachment process. But it’s Friday and not much happens on a Friday in the District of Columbia. It’s when corporations and the government throws out news they don’t want people to pay attention to. Although a Congressman did headbutt a camera rather than answer a simple question about Trump from a reporter.

But besides that, the only major news in my opinion is that the President is changing his residency to Florida. The press presumes for Tax purposes. I’d guess it’s more likely that his addled mind thinks a change of residency can prevent him from facing New York State criminal charges should he be removed from office and subject to the same laws that every American citizen is.

So because Donald John Trump has decided he is a Florida Man, I’ve decided to rewrite some Trump headlines as Florida Man headlines. But before I do, I want to note that Florida Man headlines are caused by Florida’s lack of privacy laws which make it easy for local media to exploit the stories of the disenfranchised into easy click-bait. That said, I do not feel guilty making fun of our President at all.