Gunpowder Treason and Plot (NSFW)

November 5th, 2019 — Impeachment Diaries Ep. 4

Dear ̶D̶i̶a̶r̶y̶Internet,

Before I get into today, I need to be honest with you, the Reader. These Impeachment Diaries aren’t for you.

Sure, they are part of The Sun is Wrong eNovel I am building across the internet for my company SaturaVeritas, but it’s not really part of the finished product; it’s more of a prequel, or something.

These here impeachment Diaries are for 70-year-old Jefferson.

When I am 70, I want to be able to go back and see what I wrote about the impeachment of Donald Trump, as it was happening. But, what is happening is just more of the same, Trump’s crimes come to light, and the entire Republican Party responds in unison with the Narcissist’s Prayer:

That didn’t happen.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

And if it was, that’s not a big deal.

And if it is, that’s not our fault.

And if it was, we didn’t mean it.

And if we did…

You deserved it.

Non-sequitur: This year I had been taking a news tolerance break. Unintentionally, mind you, have been pretty lost in grief. Yet, as I have started paying attention to the news again to write these diaries I can’t help but be flabbergasted by the state of the world in 2019.

So if anyone does read this, can I ask what is even happening?

To me, it seems like the Earth is on fire almost everywhere, people are protesting the state of the world all over it’s surface, and the American Hegemony has been broken by a combination of Chinese production and the short American attention span.

Yet as I walk around Washington D.C each day, everything goes on as normal. It’s a weird bifurcation between the world on my screens and the world in front of my eyes.

It’s the 5th of November 2019. We are 4 business days into the official Impeachment Inquiry of Donald Trump, and first, I’d like to talk about the word Treason because of the day’s date.

“It is to Madame Justice that I dedicate this letter, in honor of the holiday that she seems to have taken from these parts, and in recognition of the impostor that stands in her stead. Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot.”

Treason.

It’s a great word to say, it feels pretty good on the tongue. At first it feels like a happy word, almost uplifting. Treas, Treas, Treas. Maybe I just like Trees. But the finality of that ultimate “n” reveals the underlying sinister nature of the word. Say it aloud, Treason, Treason.

Treason.

Today, the House of Representatives released the transcripts of the depositions of a few White House Officials. Noteably, The U.S. Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland testified that the Military aid was indeed conditioned on investigations into one of Trump’s political opponents, Biden. That seems like the entire ballgame. The President of the United States of America used taxpayer funds to gain an advantage in the Election. And unlike Nixon who just broke into the Watergate, Trump actually coerced another country to do the investigating for him. Wow.

At this point I have trouble even understanding the Republican’s defense of the President. They’ve resorted to yelling that they won’t read any of the evidence because they already know their Dear Leader is innocent.

I know that in the United States of America it’s innocent until proven guilty, but the evidence is piling fast. So I guess not reading any of it may be a stable genius defense because you can’t prove anything to someone who refuses to listen.

I think part of the problem is that the Democrats are dancing around what crime Trump committed. I know they say he broke federal election law. I know the law he broke is probably some obscure US code no one has heard of or can even find. But if the Republicans refuse to read, how are they going to understand a crime they haven’t heard (because it’s usually common sense).

To me, if the President used taxpayer funds to get another country to help him win in 2020, I don’t know what else to call it besides Treason. Cheeto Bell-Grande seems to have betrayed his own Nation to be in charge of it. Yet the word Treason still feels wrong in this instance; Treason almost feels like a four letter word despite being seven. I think it feels wrong to say because it’s clear. And clarity is really hard to come by in 2019.

In other news, perhaps foreshadowing what’s to come, both houses of the Virginia Legislature flipped to blue today. I guess Democrats look good next to the backwards facing lumps of the Republican party.

I’d like to conclude by reminding 70-year old Jefferson that 29 year old Jefferson is a huge procrastinator and actually finished this after midnight on November 6th, sitting on my couch next to my cat listening to the menu sounds of my PlayStation 4 by Sony.

Sincerely,

Jefferson Thomas Freeman.
Unofficial Clerk of Donald Trump’s Impeachment.

[Legal P.S.] Dear ̶D̶i̶a̶r̶y̶Internet (NSFW) is Presented by SaturaVeritas. Truth in Satire.

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Impeachment Diaries 004