I’d like to Announce my Candidacy

¡Say Yes to Jest! #j4j2020

Jefferson Thomas Freeman
3 min readApr 2, 2019

Dear Everyone.

I think I need to start writing more letters. I’m trying to be a writer after all, and there is a lot of people I haven’t written to recently. And, I don’t mean message, I message people constantly, I mean literally write to. In the true sense of the word literally. (y’all realize we’ve killed the word: literally, right?) Because writing to someone is supposed to be sincere, and I don’t think you can be sincere in a text; also, sarcasm literally gets old.

So sincerity; to me writing is about a sincere conversation, sharing our feelings as well as our realities. And, I think our current affinity for short messages might have something to do with the fact that our realities are scattered. We all have our own internets and our own specific content universes these days. Unfortunately, there is so much content that while I appreciate that You think I would like a certain podcast or Netflix show, if I’m honest I’m probably never going to watch most of Your recommendations. I’m truly sorry, I really think it’s nice to share things.

I was trying to find something surprising the other day, I guess I felt like my dreams had gotten boring, and I found that my algorithms made it very hard to break out of where I am on the internet. If I wanted to change my algorithms I would need to delete my old ones, but I’m not sure how to do that. I am a much different person than I used to be. I feel like these companies need to give me a reset button for my algorithms because They get all junked up after a while and just remind me of my old self. And I’m not my old self anymore. I think people need to be allowed to change who We are as We find ourselves, and that includes how We govern ourselves. And if the way We perceive our reality is indeed influenced by our social media and our ad algorithms based on our behavior, shouldn’t We be able to reset it if We want to change Our behavior. I’m not exactly sure what I am talking about but all I know is the only major social media website that lets You reset Your algorithms for Your recommended shit is pornhub. I guess they understand sometimes You just need a clean slate. I hope They sponsor my campaign.

Ahh, Campaign. I forgot, I’m running for Jester of the United States of America. Sponsored, so far, by SaturaVeritas, I thank them for their support of my campaign, and it will in no way affect my Jestering the Laws of this Great Nation.

Please sign up for my campaign newsletter so I can target you with ads!

“Because if we’re going to have a king,
We’re going to need a Jester.”

P.S. Watch or listen(soon) to my stump speeches daily, probably. It’s just me stumping the newspaper.

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Presented by SaturaVeritas



Jefferson Thomas Freeman

Perpetual Anti-Candidate for President of the United States of America.