Some Nonsense for US(a?).

Jefferson Thomas Freeman
2 min readMar 13, 2019

Is looking at the Orange sun a sign of senility?
Cuz if one of my boomers starts acting like this, Imma’ be worried.

It feels like we can’t slow down, yet no one wants to talk about the dangers of Global Quickening. The elephants seem to be making everything quicker in a bad way; or are they bears?

Whatever, seems like a problem for the next generation to solve. Millennials are too busy with ourselves, but that’s just because WWWe think differently.

I love you baby boomers, but excuse you too.

-Tim Apple

This nonsense is sponsored by Apple, Inc.

Paid Promotion: introducing iAd, Apple’s newest and most sincere form of ad. Apple is teaming up with SaturaVeritas’s Midatlantic-Regional Business-Services Division to deliver you a plain-text Ai-formulated sincere ad experience which at launch will feel to you like one of two eflavors (from SaturaVeritas’s patent-pending emotional flavor (eFlav) line):

Serendipity [Xtended-Release: it’s a long-term ad on your phone that starts as a wrong number poem but turns into a life-long penpal that you tell your grandchildren about that turns into a peptide-bismal ad in 75 years.]


Cancelled-plans [Fast-Acting: a fake person texts you to tell you you have plans and you can text them a lot and get into the details of the plans or you can just try to cancel plans with a fake person that really wants you to come or just anything around cancelling plans you’ll be able to text to our iAd lines and it will feel different. It feels like a real person you're texting and then yeah might be a hidden ad in there. Like you’re talking about not wanting to go to brunch and and that textpal recommends a postmates delivery instead, or something.]

iAd: feel different.

This is fifth in my series of one-draft writes.

Filename: Thinkdifferent.docx

“Apples are as American as the Star-Spangled Banner, that’s why I named my company Apples” -Steve Jobs



Jefferson Thomas Freeman

Perpetual Anti-Candidate for President of the United States of America.